I remember when I was pregnant with my second child.I found out I was pregnant again while my husband was filming in London. I had wanted to travel with him so badly, London being a favorite place of mine. We were thinking about maybe trying to have another child, but I had many reservations. At first, I worried that I couldn’t love another child the way I earned the right to love my son. My first pregnancy was very difficult, and I was complete bed rest at seven weeks. I, like other royal women in the news these days, had Hyperemesis gravidarum. I was glad for that to be a newsworthy item last week, because it is not to be confused with “morning sickness”. The body goes into overdrive, raising estrogen levels to support the pregnancy. Sometimes there are twins involved, sometimes not. Imagine your worst flu, ever. Now imagine having that for seven months. This would include waking up at 2:11 a.m., just to get sick twelve or fifteen times, in a row. Not pretty. Not the way you pictured it, either. But that’s another story.
When my son was finally born, by Cesarean section (For real? After all of that other stuff!?), I was in no rush to be pregnant again. Ever. You can’t really blame the girl, can you? I had just spent 75% of the year getting violently ill when I heard the Hebrew National hot dog commercial on the radio, or running out of the store if I saw the box of Rice A Roni on a shelf. To this day, I hate trolleys. It was intense. I think I loved my little boy, all the more after what we had been through together. After being hospitalized multiple times for dehydration and exhaustion, my goal was to have this one child and be grateful. When family members started asking us when we were going to have another baby anytime soon, My line of defense was along the lines of:”Thanks very much, I’m all good. Here is the male heir to the throne. Your welcome.” (call me Kate Middleton, we can swap stories)
Four years later…
Along came Olivia. The easiest, most beautiful pregnancy. I took African drum lessons, modern dance workshops, performed on stage, all so easily. (The not so easy part was she was a ten pound V-back). But a funny thing about God- He has this way of making you forget. We are left with renewed hope and pure joy! The miracle of forgetting all that is sad and scary and painful gets replaced with the rush of emotions and pure love. Not just any kind of love, the best kind. Innocent, fresh, everything made anew. I was so afraid I wouldn’t be able to love another baby again, not after all I went through to have the first child. It’s taking a huge risk. To trust again. A leap of faith. We have the capacity to love. To be filled with those feelings that we thought we could only experience once in our lives.Love. It’s a great invention. This hope. This love. Think about your life. How much do you love your children? Oh so much, each one unique, each experience it’s own journey in love. Kind of like life.